Heavy does not mean hopeless: My fitness journey

                                      
   
     Girls(and even guys), we are beautiful no matter what our size. Today, I'm focusing in on all my curvy beauts. 

     
    One thing people get totally wrong is associating size with health. Just because you are on the slimmer side does not mean that you are healthy. There are those who eat nothing but junk foods and have a killer metabolism; which turns everything into energy and forgets that fat exists, but, that's a heart attack waiting to happen. Being on the pleasantly plump side of things does not connotate with unhealthiness. Some people are naturally curvaceous and have extra meat on their bones, which is perfectly fine, it's just more of you to love! I know personally, I probably eat less than half of what the slimmer females around me do and I'm still not model potential, which by the way, I'm perfectly fine with. I don't drink soda at all, no juice, no bread, I don't like meat, we don't have snacks, candy or sugary foods in the house and it's pretty much always been like that. "Then why are you not a size 0?" You may ask? Because for a long time, my metabolism decided to go on a vacation, but with constant activity over the summer I've managed to rev it up and lose 30 pounds, but I'll get into weight loss a little bit later. 

Here's a little bit about my journey in accepting my body:

    
    Let me start this out by saying that I am going to be completely honest with you, in minimal detail, in the next few paragraphs. I am in no way looking for your pity, your attention, sympathy or opinions. I am here to share my experiences with others, in order to let them know that they are not alone and that if I could learn to love myself, so can they. With that being said, here we go:  
    I've always been heavier and taller than the majority, until I hit high school. To be quite honest, when I look back, I really was not that heavy, but I was told constantly that I needed to lose weight from my family, my doctor, strangers and people at school, in not some of the nicest ways, which really didn't help the cause. In middle school I was about 120-130 pounds, while everyone else was about 90 but you have to take in consideration that I was about 5 inches taller than everyone else. I was also an emotional eater and had to deal with a lot back then, not just pertaining to weight (which I'll address in posts to come) up until the beginning of junior year. I've been called every name in the book, by "friends", strangers and even family. Last year, I was immensely stressed out, causing me to gain 30 pounds in about 5 months which is a very short amount of time to gain that much weight. I was unhappy with myself, overweight and full of absolutely no energy. Very rarely could the people around me detect the changes in my mood and behavior, I try not to let my problems hinder other people, but the people who lived with me noticed the drastic change. I was sporting a beer belly without the beer, sleeping way too much, highly irritable and highly unmotivated. I had always been on the heavier side but never had it actually affected my health until then. Little did I know, gaining that much weight in such a short amount of time was actually pretty dangerous. That was when i woke up and my metabolism floated on back from the deep jungles of Africa or wherever it was. That's when I started pushing myself to go to the gym, (which drastically improved my mood), changed my eating habits (primarily the fact that id come home, sleep all day and then eat all night)and changed my attitude towards myself and overall outlook on life. I stopped caring what everyone else thought of me and developed my own opinion. I started looking in the mirror more and giving myself complements. I went from "no one will ever love me" to "well maybe some day" to "you know what, I'm pretty cute" to " I love myself. I am beautiful and if my body is a barrier between me, and someone's ability to love me, then they were not for me in the first place. If someone can love me now they can love me later, at my best." I became genuinely happy when i stopped trying to please people and figured out what I wanted for myself,and took steps to attain that. 
So far, I've lost 30 pounds and I've taken a slight break from living at the gym because school occupies 99% of my time, but I'm still making sure I maintain my current weight until the summer, when I can focus in on working out again. I am again healthy now,and I'm still not a size zero. Quite frankly, nothing is wrong with being a size 0 but I don't think I ever want to nor will ever be. I'm naturally curvy and I LOVE IT. Yes, I am still choosing to lose more weight, but I'm still happy with who I am. I always say "I'm going to love the 'fat' until I can love the fit." What's the point in hating yourself? That's not going to change the way you look. However, loving yourself changes your perception of yourself, physically and mentally. Love yourself as you are now and work hard and keep loving yourself until you reach your preferred size. Someone once asked me, "What's the formula to happiness" and I replied with "A relationship with God, determination, positivity, confidence/Knowing your Self-worth and Doing what you love."

    If you're curvy and healthy, don't feel pressured to lose weight to fit the "norm", normal is boring. If dropping a couple pounds is what will make YOU happy, then by all means, go for it! I'll be right here cheering you on, every step of the way. If you need to lose weight for health reasons, don't view it as something forced and impossible, see it as a journey towards a new and improved you! Also, don't babysit the scale; It's a marathon, not a race. Even pound a week is still progress! Sometimes your body tones before it actually loses the weight, giving the illusion that you lost weight, but that's okay, at least you're seeing and feeling the change so you know all that sweat and sore muscles are worth it! I promise you, being sore is the best pain there is, it's the pain of champions.

    Your weight is just a number, your health is what matters. Someone who is 5'2" and 130 pounds will look drastically different than someone who is 5'8" and the same weight. Your weight does not determined your worth, happiness, beauty, success or how loveable you are. You and only you detriment those things. Beauty starts on the inside and works its way out. If you love yourself, people will catch on to that and will start loving you just the way you are; there is Nothing more beautiful than confidence and humbleness. 

" You've always been beautiful, now you're just choosing to be better, faster, fitter and stronger. Remember that."

~ Nathia